Ms. Lyndsey if u nastay (lyndzer) wrote,
Ms. Lyndsey if u nastay

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Burn your astrology books.

Its quarter to two...friday night. I'm sitting at home kind of groggy and bored, but content all at the same time. I feel like I have a cold coming on which really sucks. I hope its just allergies but with my luck Im probably getting sick. I haven't gone out for 2 Fridays in a row now which seems to be a disgusting record. I've gotten so used to going out with Alicia or Jay or Kenny the past few months that now that we're all busy I feel a weird void when the weekends approach. Its okay though. I really prefer staying home, eating junkfood and watching movies to be completely honest. The only part of going out I really like is doing hair and makeup and then seeing my friends, its not like I go out with the mind-set of "oh Im going to meet new people tonight". In fact, I kind of dislike meeting new people. It's always a let down. Like a seemingly awesome person(guy) will come up to me when I'm out...and we'll start talking and everything will be going smoothly and I'll think "wow, a normal person." And give the conversation 10 more minutes and I can almost guarantee I'll hear something along these lines: "..yeah I usually don't go out on Fridays, Im a white supremecist and our meetings usually are on Friday nights but this week we switched it to Saturday." And then I remember why I go out solely to see my friends...they are relatively normal or at least are compatibly crazy with me. Holy tangent I dont know where I was really going with this but yeah.

In other news: Jessica Alba is SO gorgeous, but she needs to dye her hair back to its natural color. She looks so gaudy with the platinum hair. Its probably for a movie but I hate when gorgeous dark haired women dye their hair bleach blonde...theres enough bleached girls to go around without brunettes changing sides.

Wanna hear of the DUMBEST argument EVER in the history of human civilization:
Ok here it goes...
My manager at work is driving me CRAZY. A few journals ago I was saying how I was getting a new manager from the other gym and that I knew that he and I were going to clash because he is mean to employees. Well, that prediction was way off. In fact we get along nicely but its so fake. The first day we met I took every once of charm I could find in my body and completely buttered him up. Yeah, I have no shame. But now we just goof around and I just roll my eyes at his jokes and kind of polk fun at his corniess and it works...because everyone else is kind of intimidated by him and he makes all of them clean and do all this manual labor shit but he never makes me. But anyways, he thinks that because he "found god" and studied astrology that this makes him "spiritually enlightened" and always right because he "knows who he truly is". Now I cant knock him for believing in God and trying to make sense out of life because Im struggling with the same issues but he thinks hes reached the point that I am searching for (or at least I think thats what I want). I dont know if its even impossible, but I can honestly say that if I slowly become sure of my faith and feel like I know myself inside and out i pray i DONT end up like him. He honestly thinks he knows EVERYTHING. I cant even put into words how ridiculous and anal he is. Like on his first day at our gym he pulled all us workers together and was like..."listen, I dont mind a fun work environment but when everyone is just hanging out talking and laughing during down-time I want you to remember our new motto- 'you got time to lean you got time to clean'. So i expect everyone to pick up our work area." Ok I know making employees clean isnt bad, but just having a motto all ready and acting as if we are going to get all amped to clean because he has a rhyme that applies to the situation made me want to punch him. Im trying to clearly verbalize conversations we have but its sooooo hard to explain his insanity. Ok heres one- today we were talking "ghetto". Like he always pretends to rap stupid lyrics or be like "yo girl whats up in dis place" Like its obvious he's joking when he does it...but today he was like:

Rob: "Hey Lyndz, whats the time-izzle."
Me: Haha You cant add "izzle" to one syllable words it doesnt sound right.
Rob: What do you mean I cant do that?

(NOW hopefully its clear that Im joking, as if theres rules of snoop-talk but anyways) :

ME: It doesnt sound right. You gotta add izzles to bigger words or something.
ROB: See, thats your problem Lyndz. You cant go through life telling yourself you "cant" do something or saying the word "dont". What happens is, you lay in bed every night thinking and all you are saying to youself is 'dont do this' or 'i cant do that'...and you will never succeed with a pessimistic attitude."
ME: Rob are you joking right now? Is this a joke. We were just jokin around about talking like Snoop-dog and now youre telling me Im a pessimist because I said "dont add Izzle to one syllable words"?!
ROB: Yes but you dont understand what Im cant go through life saying or thinking in terms of "dont".

(AT this point Im borderline furious/about to rip his head off for trying to get deep and philosophical when 2 seconds ago he was talking like a rapper called Snoop Doggy Dogg, and now hes trying to tell me how to live my life and that I have all of these flaws and I dont understand where hes coming from. As if he is the first person to say "you cant tell yourself you CANT do this or that" etc. Not only does he constantly contradict himself but all of these "deep" points he makes about life are cliche and you can go to for any number of 'unique' thoughts rob has in his arrogant head.)

ME: I understand what youre saying and not only does it completely not apply to the situation I DONT agree with you. I know that you shouldnt think negatively about yousrself, but striving for perfection within yourself is probably the first step to going crazy.
ROB: Dont strive for perfection.
ME: You just said "dont".
ROB: Damn it you know what I meant. You cant say "Dont" do stuff. Ever. You should never do that.
ME: Thhats ridiculous, you cant go through life just ignoring stuff you know you shouldnt do and only do the good things. You have to tell yourself "dont" sometimes.
ROB: No, because when you do bad things you see the consequences and then you never want to do those things ever again so theres no need to tell yourself "Dont" do something.
ME: Um well if you do bad things yet want to do them again but you know you shouldnt you are going to have to tell yourself "DONT do this" because you learned from your previous mistake.
ROB: NO you wont have to tell yourself "Dont" ever if life because you just begin to feel that you wont want to do certain things therefore eliminating the word "Dont" from your vocabulary.
ME: This really is the dumbest thing Ive ever heard. Its like saying "never have bad thoughts about yourself" and then just like that- BOOM theyre gone! Thats now how it works, you have to tell yourself (assuming you are trying to change your views on yourself) "dont think like that" or "dont do this" because stuff just doesnt happen naturally you need to put effort into making changes.
ROB: thats where you and I are different. I know who I am. I have found my inner and outer soul and therefore I have eliminated the need to have the word "dont" in my vocabulary and unless you begin to change your attitude you wont ever reach the point I have.

Im sorry I cant stop typing but this argument went on and on for probably 20minutes. Theres way more than what I wrote out but Im sure you are already sick of it if you even got this far. At one point he walked away fuming because I refused to agree that humans shouldnt have to tell themselves not to do things. He thinks because he read the fucking zodiac books and understands all about stars and planets and shit that this makes him more "in-touch" with himself. Hes gonna end up one of those people you see on CNN that ate poisoned pudding with their cult and all layed down in bunk beds wearing matching Nike shocks as they all commit suicide so they can wait for the space ship to come and go to jupiter. (do u guys remember that...I think it was the "heavens gate" cult or something like that) but thats how hes going to end up. He refuses to accept peoples flaws or shortcomings and thinks he is perfect and if anything THAT is one of the biggest flaws a person can have. I think he is crazy I think he is messed up and insecure and excuses his insecurities with "well this is who I am, and since I know that its ok" but anyone who disagrees with his babbles is wrong and stupid and "dont know themselves". What I do know is that a person who constantly has to remind himself who he is and then tells who he is to other people is probably the most un-sure of us all.

...and to think this all started by me saying "dont add 'izzle' to one syllable words"

People are weird man. People are weirdddddddddddd.
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